Write Like You Talk

On May 2 2020, I woke up at 6 am. Did what I had to do; danced for exercise, attended an Algorithms online class, finished reading the last four chapters of Frankenstein, had a poetry discussion with a friend, this was then followed by a tonne of boring daily stuff. Then at around 3 pm I decided to take a nap. Woke up at 6 pm and haven’t slept since. It’s May 3, 5:10 am right now.
My body is aching slightly because I danced like a mad woman on the morning on May 2. But my mind is wide awake and active as fuck.
What do I attribute my loss of sleep to? Is it quarantine effect or Ramzan effect? Or just-off-periods effect?

I’d like to confess, it’s been some time since I felt an urge to write and actually enjoyed the process. Now is one such lovely time. A few days ago; I read in some article or heard in a Ted Talk or maybe it was Rahul Bhai or Kate who told me that it becomes easier to write when you write like you talk. I am doing that now and it seems to work. I am writing just like I would write to a friend on a WhatsApp chat. And I believe, it’s not just writing like you talk but also thinking before writing just like you think before talking; which is often not too much! I find there is more continuity to my writing, when I adopt this style. I ain’t worried that my content is bland or irrelevant or unnecessary. It might still be all those things; bland, irrelevant, unnecessary; but at least I got some writing done!
The fear, anxiety of not being able to write something interesting, I would hence conclude, acts a road block. And if you happen to be someone who is facing same issues as me or have newly began writing, this is the take away; write like you talk. Imagining talking to someone specific might help further. You can imagine talking (writing) to your friend, partner, parent, senior; whoever you talk freely and frankly with.

Hey, again! It’s 6:05 am.
I stopped writing for a while and unwittingly engaged myself in a not so pleasant conversation with an old friend. It started out okay, then turned to complaining and then to insulting and left us both with a lot of negativity to deal with.
I wonder how energies function. You can like, respect and admire someone and yet when you happen to talk to them; you are left sad, angry or just ‘not happy’. Timing too has a role play. I can’t properly explain what I mean by that though.

I have come to believe very strongly in the concept of ‘matching of energies’. Oh, my tooth is aching badly again! It’s been such for two days now. Other than a rotten mind and a very rotten heart, I also happen to have 5 severely rotten teeth, each of which requires RC treatment.
My phobia of dentists and the very humanly instinct to avoid pain, as long and as much as possible, has kept me from visiting the dental college ever since the fateful day of the initial diagnosis. We have no pain killers at home, so I’d just try to distract my mind from the pain. It works. Watch a video, listen to music, talk to someone.

So, what was I babbling about, homie? Yes! Energies.
I believe, not through reading important texts, but through keen observation within limited experience; that when you meet and interact with people; old or new, there is something at play which is not in your control. And no amount of effort, communication techniques or behavioural tactics have any sway over it. Sometimes you meet someone and just connect. Other times; you don’t. Forcing anything that doesn’t develop naturally is a recipe for pain and trouble.

I’ll have tea now. (No, I ain’t fasting)

6:30 am
I started reading Moby Dick yesterday. Ray Bradbury said, “Shakespeare wrote Moby-Dick, using Melville as a Ouija board”. Melville is the writer of Moby Dick. Bradbury, I think, was trying to allude to the humour, satire and depth that Moby Dick is praised for.
What I’ve assimilated till now, after reading a few pages, is that the narrator loves the sea. When his mind becomes too suffocated with worldly matters and cares, the sea becomes his refuge. He likes to call himself a sailor, and not a passenger, when he goes on voyages. Because as a passenger you have to pay, but as a sailor you get paid. I don’t know if that is an attempt at humour. Didn’t make me laugh.
Somewhere in there was a description of a street scene; the hustle, the crowd, the noise. And given what this quarantine has done to my small mind, reading that lively scene made me feel good . I reckon, we can all try to read literature that has such vivid descriptions of busy, happening city life. I guess that’s the closest we can get to experience what we so badly miss.

Oh, it started pouring! I’ll go watch the rain through the window now.

Bisou bisou.